Concordia Magazine 2025

A Culture of Kindness

At the heart of a good pastoral system is kindness. In promoting kindness we offer staff, pupils and parents the daily experience of being known, valued and cared for. That kindness should be offered altruistically, without expectation of reciprocation or favour; and because it is given so freely, the kindness is returned twofold. As Juliet says to Romeo:

My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite.

Such self-reinforcing, reflexive and reflective kindness cannot be contained within the walls of the school; it overspills boundaries and reaches out into the wider community. Schools like ours become engines of goodness in their locality, even as they enhance the lives of those they most directly serve. However, we don’t have the equivalent of a blank sheet of paper on which to write a moral code — even if we wished to. Anyone who joins Rousseau in thinking that children are naturally good hasn’t spent much time with them.

Head Master Simon Everson writes about the culture of kindness. A good school will develop the mind; a great school will develop the soul. Merchant Taylors’ helps pupils fashion a moral code to guide their life. I should like our pupils to have moral agency within the world, acting altruistically in using their strength to support others. We want them to choose, of their own free will, to behave well. What is it that children want? They want to be known, to be valued and to hope. Above all, children need to be loved. At the outset of their education they want teachers who are empathetic and caring. By the time they are about to go to university they are more transactional: they seek effective communicators who will deliver their required grades. But they can reach that latter state of relative independence only because they were supported through the earlier, more vulnerable period. A good school, deliberately or otherwise, will try to replicate the experience of being a member of a loving family. It will foster kindness, aspiration and courtesy. Merchant Taylors’ meets childrens’ needs and, through our pastoral system, communicates the values we esteem.

Concordia Winter 2025 4